


My Jolly Sailor Bold

by Eisen_Ruvia



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anything about MER here came from my own imagination, BAMF!Clint totally challenges Natasha for Bucky, Because come on! He really wants that ass!, But don't worry Bruce kisses her better, DAMNIT!, F/M, Fuck Ariel! Mers are Dark creatures, Hannibal is BAMF, Howard is a cool Dad, M/M, Male Mers are hotter than Female Mers, Maria Stark... not so much, Mentions of Hannigram – because shit is awesome!!, Mer!Scott doesn’t want anything to do with him damnit!, Mermaids are Carnivores – they eat Humans, Mermaids need Humans to procreate, Mers are Possessive, Natasha Loses, Pirate!Logan chases after Mer!Scott, Possessive Clint, Possessive Tony, Post-serum Steve as an adult – he finally got his growth spurt, Pre-serum Steve as a child, Protective Steve, Protective and Obsessive creatures, Then the babies eat the Humans after being born, Well - Freeform, You do not take his Mongoose away, You take their mate or intended mate and they will fuck up your shit, no, shark erik, she’s female too, the Author is not biased, until he does, when he and Tony do finally meet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 14:48:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4923727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eisen_Ruvia/pseuds/Eisen_Ruvia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of a Mer - that's Tony, by the way - and his Jolly Sailor Bold.</p><p>Okay, so Steve isn't really a Pirate. He just got roped with them suckers searching for his Mer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Jolly Sailor Bold

**Author's Note:**

> Just watched Pirates of the Caribbean: In Stranger Tides, heard the Mermaid’s Song, got addicted, safe to say you can blame the movie for this abomination. Developed a strange craving for StevexMer!Tony & BuckyxMer!Clint Smut. I ran this through my sister, she spent five hours locked inside our bathroom. I don’t know what went on in there, but there were suspicious noises that I still refuse to give name to and I probably never will. So, yes, I got the A-okey, two thumbs up. Though I’m kind of scared. Because whenever I mention the plans for the Smut scene to her, she foams in the mouth.
> 
> Oh, and those waiting for the next chapter of Prequel to Rozen Wars, Sorry for the delay, there been a few problem with the story line but I'm fixing it! I'll be able to post it by the end of next week with the way things are proceeding! Promise!

Our story does not begin with a _Once Upon a Time_ , neither does it start with _A Long Time Ago_ or _In a Kingdom Far, Far Away_.

 

Because ours is a story about the people of the deep waters known as the _Mers_.

 

Unlike the popular stories of half-human half-fish creatures that spread throughout the Human Legends, they are not the pleasant creatures that ruled the waters. For Mers, in all actuality, are dark creatures; carnivores that feed on the flesh of both Fish _and_ Humans.

 

All the stories about them are merely deductions or made up, for none has ever seen them up-close. And the ones that have... did not survive the encounter.

 

So, like any other Mer encounter that was left untold, our story starts with a man stranded at sea.

 

Prince Howard of the Kingdom of Stark never once assumed that his whole life would be leading up to this moment. Sure, he was an insubordinate piece of shit, as his friends and family so affectionately say, a narcissist and a man with self-preservation instincts so low it might as well be non-existent. But he thought it would be with more flare, maybe go down in History as the asshole who survived getting thrown overboard once or twice.

 

To be fair, neither did those fake fortune tellers saw him drowning in the middle of the sea, with no chance of rescue in sight. He was so getting his money back. If he lives through this, of course.

 

And naturally, since the world is a cold hearted, vengeful bitch wallowing in her bitter pit because Howard took one look and found her lacking, a Great White Shark finds its way towards our unfortunate prince. Howard will never admit even to the day he lays of old age on his death bed – if he ever gets the chance to see said bed – that when he takes one look at the rows of serrated teeth, he shrieks. He’ll never tell, sure he might make up a story where he uses his awesomeness to vanquish the foul beast. But no, he’ll never tell.

 

Howard doesn’t remember much of what ensues next, only that the beast tries to take a huge bite out of his person, which he evades with an impossible twist of the body only achievable with the combination of sheer force of terror and ridiculous amounts of pumping adrenaline.

 

Giving credit where credit is due, he thanks the coffee.

 

But alas! The beast is not so easily deterred. It comes back for another try.

 

Howard would like to say that the reason he survives said try was because he once again makes a miraculous move. But he guesses miracles only happen once.

 

He freezes, like an ice floating on water, unmoving and waiting for its demise. Pretty brown eyes closes shut, waiting for the feel of teeth tearing through his royal flesh, waiting for unbearable pain... that never came.

 

Huh.

 

Squinting one eye open, because you never know if a fish is dramatically cruel enough to wait for your undivided attention before sinking its teeth in you, he peers through soaked lashes, half expecting a giant jaw an inch from his face ready to taste.

 

There’s nothing there.

 

The other eye follows its twin.

 

He looks around. He’s not in heaven, there were no clouds.

 

He’s not in hell, because, hello, water.

 

So likely conclusion: he’s alive. And there’s the shark, almost half a mile away, swimming away from him.

 

Interesting.

 

Not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth, he shrugs; he remembers seeing a piece of wood floating not too far away before his fishy friend showed up. He’s exhausted; it’ll help him last for a couple more hours before another ship comes by, hopefully.

 

He turns back, delighted by his good fortune... and promptly shrieks again.

 

Adrenaline and nerves high from surviving a shark encounter, he blames the coffee for his embarrassing action; because neither beast nor pirate floated before him but a beautiful maiden. So beautiful in fact, that Howard wouldn’t be too opposed to a little fondue-ing – _Joseph you hilarious shit_ – in the middle of sea.

 

The woman was wet, the sexy kind, with blonde hair like sunlight and pale white skin.

 

Howard would later blame himself and his incredibly inappropriately high libido for not wondering why such an impossibly beautiful woman was hanging out in the middle of the sea. Not noticing the other suspicious traits such as the silver scales scattered in various parts of her flesh, the black Shark-like eyes or the odd fact that she wasn’t even using her arms to stay above the water surface, other than the bountiful bosom paraded in his line of sight.

 

Mesmerized, he swims a little closer, not willing to scare the angelic face away he does it slowly. He swallows before opening his mouth to spew out one of his well used pick-up lines. But the lady of the sea beats him to it, opening supple pink lips...

 

And tries to bite an even bigger chunk out of him.

 

Just surviving a recent encounter of jaws and teeth, Howard does what any typical person who was already too wired would do.

 

He flails.

 

He flails and kicks and cries and screams bloody murder. Because _FUCK! IT WAS A MER! IT WAS A MER!!!!_

 

The thing was, Howard’s Father’s kingdom was the closest human kingdom to the Razor atolls or more famously known as the “Mer Waters”. Their people were the only ones who knew of the truth behind the pleasant folks called “Mermaids” in legends. They were not called “Mermaids”, and they were NOT pleasant. Their ancestors made sure every last Tom, Dick and Harry of their kingdom knew never to roam Mer Waters, even the ones looking to off themselves never considered fostering good neighbouring relationship by feeding themselves to the Mers. Death by Mer was no way to go.

 

They devoured everything... to the bone.

 

He had no weapon.

 

And short of growing his own fish tail, he couldn’t out swim something built for speed, water pressure and strong currents.

 

Ergo, Howard knew he was screwed.

 

And the female Mer knew it as well.

 

The female Mer tilts her head and Howard tries to hide it but he flinches. She moves and Howard almost dies of a heart attack. She swims around him in circles, her eyes appraising and Howard doesn’t know if that’s a bad thing or good. But his betting his crown – and he really loves that crown – that it’s the former rather than the later.

 

Malicious shark-like black eyes takes everything in from head to water submerge toe. And apparently, Howard passed some sort of test because only the glint of razor sharp teeth peeking out of unpleasant smiling lips was his warning before the Mer tackles him down. He only has a moment to gasp before he goes under. He starts to flail, punch and kick; anything to free himself from the deadly embrace. But the Mer only continues on, unbothered by his assault. She was damn strong for her smaller size.

 

He slowly ceases his struggles as his oxygen depletes, limbs limp as everything darkens around him.

 

TBC

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks and Salutations to my Sister, the Light of My Life, the Muse Behind the Creative Chunk of My Brain, the Cream to my Coffee, One of the Only Existence That Makes This Life Worth Living, for the ideas and hilarious cracks in this story.
> 
> A Sister, A Daughter, A Mother and A Friend. She will be forever remembered.
> 
> Okay, no, sorry, that sounded better in my head. She’s alive and sitting next to me, currently trying to brain me in the head with a rolling pin for the remembrance crack.
> 
> So, remember people, save my arse: half the Kudos goes to her, all the love goes to me. *GRINS*


End file.
